Once upon a conversation......

This conversation took place on a Sunday morning, not exactly a sunny day, between the water bearer and her dear old grandmother. Grams (as I usually call her), sweet and cuddly, is otherwise referred to as the “old crab” on the rare occasions when she turns mean. These rare occasions have been on the rise off late, much to my consternation.

Let me give a background to this funny conversation. Yours truly had been successful in fixing up a meeting with a certain serpent after surmounting all kinds of hurdles which include the serpent’s ability to come up with the most inane excuses to avoid contact with the outside world. You see, it is not a child’s play to make a serpent, a sun-eating sea-serpent may I add to leave his lair when all he wants to do is dream of fish curry and mermaids. But that’s beside the point; let’s just get on with the story.

Glad to finally get hold of an otherwise slithery sulking serpent, Saturday evening, thus was nicely spent indulging in a competition of who-cribs-the-most and generally trying hard to outwit each other. I had conveniently forgotten about an 80-year old crab sitting at home waiting to point out my non-committal response towards time. Needless to say, I had crossed the deadline when I reached the manor.

Grams, in her usual style, opens the door with a wide welcoming smile. I think this is encouraging.

Grams: So my dear you are home…..I have made chocolate pudding for you and there is a surprise item in your dinner today!

Me: Wow! You are the best Grams.

Grams: So, what took you so long in this rain? I was so worried that you would be stuck somewhere. You see, it’s not wise to venture out in such a ghastly rainfall (it was merely drizzling according to me). There will be traffic, some moron might not drive properly and his car may skid, you may be crossing the road and oh god I can’t even imagine what could happen and it is so dark outside (phew! Will she stop?!) No lights on the road, what if a stray dog that’s gone mad bites you or if u catch a bad cold in this weather or …….(etc etc..i will spare you the rest).

Me (rolling eyes): Grams! Stop it. I can take care of myself and it is Not a ghastly rainfall. it is just drizzling.

Grams: You still haven’t told me where have u been.

Me: Er. Didn’t Mom tell you I was tied up at work? (I steal a glance at mother and she gives me the most innocent look)

Grams (raises a suspicious eyebrow): Yes yes she did. Where you really tied up at work? Or did you get stuck somewhere in between?

Me (by now I am struggling with my guilty conscience and kicking myself for having lied to her. I decide to take a shot at telling the truth): Ah…er…actually I left office quite early to meet an old friend, you know to catch up with each other’s lives.

Grams: Oh!

At this point mother jumps in as my saviour like she always does and reminds Grams about dinner.

Grams: Ok. Well you can fill me in the details in the morning. Come dear have your dinner and go to bed.

Needless to say, I thank all the possible gods I can remember and dig in into the pudding and the surprise dinner item (btw that surprise was the yummiest fruit-n-cream salad you can have this side of the world, a Grams special)

On Sunday morning I hoped that granny’s forgetfulness will get the better of her and she wouldn’t remember anything about my sojourn the evening before. Well, I couldn’t be more wrong.

Grams (while continuing with her morning chore of garland-making): so tell me about yesterday’s meeting. Who is this friend?

Me (groggy with sleep and cursing mother to have woken me up so early on a Sunday): Eh? What meeting?

Grams: Wake up sweetie, here, have your coffee and tell me all about it.

Me (sipping the perfect filter coffee again a Grams special which cleared my head): Oh that! Yeah I met Jormund Elver. He is a Midgard fella, nice chap, though occasionally a pain in the neck.

Grams: You met a BOY?!! So late in the evening? Alone?

By now I realised my folly and was fully awake. Damn I should have broken it more gently.

Me (grinning like a cat that has swallowed a ton of fish): Grams! This is not 1860!...its not a big deal meeting a guy on a Saturday evening and alone too. Besides, he is a dear friend and quite trustworthy (I frowned a little on that adjective I had bestowed upon Elver)

Grams( in an alarming tone) : Why are you frowning? Is something wrong? Don't you remember what happened last evening .....

Me: What are talking Grams? Of course I remember. I was just thinking about some unfinished work in office.

Grams (visibly relieved) : Oh! Tell me how long have you two known each other? Midgard? Is he of our caste?

Me (quite exasperated): Oh my sweet grandmama, we met a year ago when we both were struggling to bell the cat.

Grams: Cat? Which cat? You don’t have a cat? Or is there one in this house without my knowledge…how dare you bring a cat into this house…oh god now I will have sprinkle holly water all over…..dear god forgive……(I will spare you again with the rest of the tirade)

Me: Grams! Get a grip on yourself. CAT is Common Admission Test ok! Lot of guys give this test to get into the best institutions.

Grams (heaving a sigh of relief and murmuring a short 3-para prayer to the lord): Don’t use such scary acronyms with me. And you haven’t told me anything about this Jorjune Emeren !

Me (struggling to stifle a laugh): The name is Jormund Elver! He got himself into Norman Midgard, a very well-known institution.

Then I went on to give a short snapshot of the serpent’s life and his whereabouts. Grams didn't look very pleased.

Grams: Sounds like one confused fellow. Confused boys are bad company. And he cribs too, you said. He will be a bad influence on your sunny side darling. No No, I won’t allow that. Besides, water bearers are not supposed to mingle with wonky boys and certainly not serpents.

Me: If anybody is an influence here, it’s my sunshine demeanour on him, trust me and what’s the harm in meeting a non-descript serpent once in a while?

Grams: Don’t you have any girls as friends? Why don’t you meet Rachel? She is a nice girl and from our own caste. Both of you share so much in common.

Me: Huh! Rachel? Has she called me for the past 6 months? She has started to behave like a big shot now. And what are you talking about, caste and silly things? Elver is also my Friend! And I get along much better with boys than girls.

Grams: Why are you defending him so much? Is something going on? Are you two dating?

I choked on my coffee and a fit of cough took over me. Grams, forgot all about her questions and garlands and fussed over me for a while.Let me pause here and explain to you how my grandmother’s mind works. When she asks a question which is disturbing to either of us, she doesn’t wait for the answer. She assumes the worst response and launches into a mourning on her lack of protectiveness toward her dearest grand-daughter.

Grams ( after making sure I am alright): Oh no! Now you are dating …then this would go further….what will I say to our family? What will I say to the soul of my son?... (ok full stop)

At this point, I was flabbergasted. I wanted to pull that garland of marigold from her hands, search for a fellow called God and wring his neck for making me put up with an old crab! Couldn’t he just have pre-programmed her to change according to the change in centuries?!For now I decided to change my strategy. Well you got to help yourself Aqua. I turn into a coy grand-daughter from the devil-may-care water bearer.

Me (prying her fingers off the garland which was a mess by now): Come on grams, for goodness sakes, I am not dating anyone. I have met him, like just 3 times. Look, he is a friend, we met, we spoke and we shared our experiences. That’s it and as for dating and all that silly things, you know me. I have no interest in them whatsoever.

Her nerves showed a little sign of relaxation. Good, my strategy is working.

Grams: Dearest, this is not your fault. The age you are in is quite tricky. You should take care, focus on your work…..don’t go to parties and dates like this…….it is not safe for a girl like you…..you should have taken other friends along….they would have been good protection (yawn!...).....

Me: I am not sixteen, I am a whole 24 years old, quite sane and a mature adult to boot! And gradma, what makes you think i need protection from Elver.

I couldn't help bursting into laughter. Grams was a little amused herself too.

Grams: Ok, I trust you…But you should mingle with well-bred girls from our caste. Look at Betty!....She comes home dot on time…does all the chores…And has only girls as friends. You should be that way….not hobnobbing with serpents. (There we go again!)

Me: Now now don’t you compare me with that oh-so-perfect Betty. I hate it.

Grams: But she is perfect. And there is no harm in learning from your cousins. She knows how to cook…..

Me (rather defiantly): So do I!

Grams: Yes yes …but she knows how to make welcome designs at the doorstep of her home…she knows how to knit….she even knows how to make lovely garlands……her husband whoever it would be, will be a blessed man.

Oh yes blessed indeed, wearing marigold garlands...geez!

Me: Look…I am Me and Betty is Betty. We are like chalk and cheese ok. And I don’t Need to get trained for marital bliss thank you very much!!

Grams (giggling at my discomfort): Ok, you are both very different. But that doesn’t give you leeway to do what you want. So no going out and meeting people, at least not in this rain. And one more thing....don't indulge in any office-related bonding also.Me: Grams! (i shrieked)Grams: Well it's only for your benefit i am warning you dearest.

Me: Fine.

With that one word I called it quits to the conversation leaving a rather smug and sinfully pleased old crab gingerly threading another marigold garland.

The SanguineTag to spread some sunshine..

This one was long long long overdue…..Ever since I got tagged by the serpent I have been trying to put my sunshine tips for a better world…but then since I was feeling rather blue (what? You thought the water bearer is always smiling and chirpy…come on man I am human!)…..I put into practice my famous principle in life…Procrastination!......Now I am totally disgusted with myself and since my short story is going nowhere….. I better get going with this tag…one of the few tags I actually enjoyed doing…

So here goes….10 things to make this world a better place….and also brighten up your life :D

Smile: This has to be the Numero Uno factor. And no, this has got nothing to do with the yahoo smileys….A genuine smile on a face. That little curve can change a lot of things…least of all brighten up your day… doesn’t hurt to smile..does it?

Flowers: The best thing that has happened to mankind is flowers…..just gift a flower to someone and see the expression on their face……its worth more than a million dollars…..it need not be only roses….any flower that smells sweet. roses, lilies. Anything. So, who is giving me flowers tomorrow? ;)

Rain: the feeling of getting drenched in the first shower (no not the bathroom one) is something that cannot be explained. You got to try it out….well I did…An even better option would be sitting near the window watching the rain splash outside with a hot cup of filter coffee and some yummy fries!....it’s the rainy season in Mumbai .And boy…I am loving it!!!!

Hugs: I don’t think this one needs any explanation…. Just make sure that it sends out the right signals ~wink~

Books: They are indeed our best friends. Apart from the knowledge, the ideas and the rest of it, just pick up a book for the sheer enjoyment of reading.

Music: …I can’t imagine a world without it…..for some moron who can….go take a walk to Mars!!!

Friends: It can’t be me if I don’t mention this can it?.......however weird, queer or at time a pain in the….er…whatever……..there is nothing better to do than to meet up with friends……and the eternal waterbearer says “MEET MEET”…please don’t meet in chatrooms!!.....well.. lemme think…When was the last time I met mine?!!!!

The ocean: the water bearer recommends at least 15 minutes of staring at the sea……the sound of the waves and the magnitude of the water has miraculous healing powers… no idea how….but it works for me

Cooking: Yeah! This one is actually a bit surprising for me too. But try it….eating one’s fruit of labour…literally…. it is the best feeling....and the trick is to make other relish it too…..for folks who are a disaster in the kitchen…don’t worry you will get the hang of it…till then you can be at the other side…

Cartoons and animation movies: Had a hard day?...Tom & Jerry might add a little smile on your face…….Popeye may make you laugh…..or else just curl up and watch beauty and the beast or have some fun at Madagascar……and yes there is a moral at the end of every movie :D

So that’s that. Writing ten things leaves millions unwritten. If you think everything is a miracle…the world is any day a lovely place

Whom do I tag?

Bugs...the bunny cannot and will not be left out of this sunny endeavour.

Puneet......would love to hear from this 'different guitarist' ;)

Archster....well well...she sure is spreading sunshine all over...time to put down some fine points of them.

I shall be back soon. Till then keep smiling and spread the sunshine :)

Silent waters...

The ways of the water bearer and those of the world are disjoint. In normal times the world flows with the water. But then many a times the same world puts rocks that the water has to bypass. They won’t budge. Well something similar is the status quo of my life right now. There are rocks of official work in my way. I will have to make way for them before I get to my destination of a blog post.

If I had my way, wouldn’t I be posting something new everyday on this blog? But……oh yes the ifs and the buts of life. They show up when you least expect them. Such is life.

As I see, the serpent has had his revenge and has tagged me. And there is a short story to be completed soon. If only I could get done with the numerology of corporate finance!!

Well the wait would be worth the while. When the water bearer is silent for a long time, it would be broken with a bang. As they say “still waters run deep”

My life for rent…..

As you can see I haven’t been able to put together anything coherent that might pass off as a decent post. So for the benefit of those parched eyes that scan this blog every now and then, here is something. This is the only song that I have played for probably the highest number of times. And perchance the only song that explains me and my life to a T!
Too melancholy for a "sanguine" water bearer you might say, but this is the other side of the coin!

I especially love the lines
“While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down

While I am so afraid to fail

so I won't even try

Well how can I say I'm alive”
AND
“Well I deserve nothing more than I get

Cos nothing I have is truly mine”

Enjoy Dido’s song-“Life for rent”

I haven't really ever found a place that I call home
I never stick around quite long enough to make it
I apologize that once again I'm not in love
But it's not as if I mind
that your heart ain't exactly breaking

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

I've always thought
that I would love to live by the sea
To travel the world alone
and live my life more simply
I have no idea what's happened to that dream
Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me

It's just a thought, only a thought

But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

While my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
While I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
Well how can I say I'm alive

If my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine……

The water bearer speaketh

After a very long time I am back with my posts. 2005 ended with a tag-post and let me begin 2006 with a tag-post again. This one was due for long. Puneet decided that I need to desperately update my blog and maybe sensed that I was running out of ideas or just plain disinterested in updating. So he goes ahead and tags me.Though usually tags are fun...i believe this time it was a pain...Well this time it’s about soul mates and the water bearer for the first time is at a lose for words. I don't have the faintest idea of what to expect out of my perfect soul mate. So bear with me because this one would probably have the maximum number of hasty generalisations, faulty parallelisms and a cartload of clichés.

So here is the mother of all clichés, my version of the perfect soul mate. I will try to be the ‘innovative waterbearer’……..Yawn!

1. Wit and humour: yes yes anyone who doesn’t have wise cracks up his sleeve or doesn’t understand my humour–too bad. You can’t probably put up with this eccentric water bearer for long…….heck I can’t put up with such a bore. The trick is to outwit me!

2. A literature buff: and no this does not stop at Shakespeare….someone who can’t resist books…whether its Paolini or Paranjpe…..Shashi Tharoor or Ayn Rand…..Kipling or Kiran Nagarkar…. someone who can fund my ambition of having a library :wink:

3. Live and let live: possessiveness is strict no-no with this wandering waterbearer. Even the remotest sign of possession will send me bolting at the opposite direction. Someone who gives me enough space is welcome. And space, in my case doesn’t get measured in sq. meters always.

4. Talk to me: a good conversationist…..someone who can talk endlessly on anything…..someone who can keep up with the sudden changes of topics that I initiate……a leap from philosophy to politics, a jump from astrology to business and a skip from music to photography.

5. Infinite Trust: yes not just trust but infinite…this should have been number one.....the person has to trust me and has to have faith in my actions….whether its some silly pranks he indulged in…or even the darkest of the secrets he has……I know it takes a long time…probably even a lifetime to acquire anyone’s trust…..but then TRUST me and you will be richly rewarded!

6. Take me as I am: and I will change for you!...sounds a bit confusing right? Well, the water bearer is dynamic and wouldn’t mind changing something about her….but then he shouldn’t be there in my life for Only changing me…..you can change the shape of the water…but not its flow!

7. Stand up for me: well not exactly me but I think life is a waste when you don’t have anything to stand up to…..even it is against popular opinion. Spineless diplomats…..please stay away.

8. Sharp mind: how can I forget this…..intelligence…..the one thing that turns me on. I don’t care if he is an IIT-IIM or some such deadly combo as they say if he can’t understand basic things in life….heard about something called common sense?

Well there. I am done. Oh! Btw, qualities like respect, beauty, understanding of the greatest order and such trivial things have been taken for granted. Perhaps if I had my way of putting 800 points, I might have mentioned everything.

Whom do I tag? The usual suspects
Jormund Elver: it’s high time I see something on your blog
Archster: always a pleasure to read from M’lady
Bugs: The perfect follow-up from his previous post

Tagged down by the punster!

A vague memory of a little ugly duckling comes to my mind. This kid always ended up being ignored by the tagging groups. Then she used to go ahead and tag herself and run around pretending to be important. Not much has changed for that kid even now after 23 years though the eternal punster of bloggersville thought of tagging her this time.
Since random thoughts are my intellectual specialisation and being a self-obsessed water bearer, this wasn’t hard for me. So here it is…..things you would like to know about your resident water bearer…and she wouldn’t mind telling you.

1. Nothing can stir the soul the way music does…..I like instrumental renditions more than songs….anything from Zubin Mehta’s orchestra to Zakir Hussain’s tabla, from E.Gayatri’s classical veena to Mozart’s symphony. However “gin soaked boy” from divine comedy is my all time favourite.

2. I am over sensitive. I get hurt by the silliest and the littlest of the little things although I would never show it on my face. But since I have a tendency to forgive easily, you can get away with over sight.

3. I feel that I have stopped living and started to just exist.

4. I am a worrier not about me but about others. I worry about other people too much especially about those whom I care for. I would worry myself to death over every little problem they face.

5. I am on a weight gaining binge. I don’t think I have stuffed myself like this before. Damn! Not even a kilo more yet

6. I am an A-class quitter. Joined singing classes-quit within 3 weeks, joined violin classes-quit within 2 weeks, gave up the idea of learning new languages ….this would require a separate post and I might do that when I am in one of my self-flagellation moods.

7. I am grossly incapable of expressing my feelings. And this comes from the ability to feel much stronger than others can.

8. I love cheese, paneer, chocolates and salads. And the best part is I can have them by the loads and still be the slender lass: grin:

9. I hate jewellery, especially those heavy antique ones which make you look like u are one of those Egyptian mummies come alive again!

10. I hate to shop. Nothing in this world is as boring as shopping. Exception: books and cds…I loose myself in these.

11. I believe you can be alone. But never be lonely.

12. I can’t talk sports and cars….so the male section of cosmozens are out of my conversation radar. I can’t talk about lip sticks, nail paints (yikes!!), dudes –next-door so the females go out too……who’s left?!

13. I think I am the only person with whom people are willing to share their sorrow but not their happiness.

14. I get ignored most of the time. Really.

15. I love Mumbai. Period

16. I believe people are good unless proven otherwise

17. I have a deep seated fear that I might disappear from the face of the earth and people may not even realise my absence.

18. I like guys with a humorous outlook towards life, guys who can discuss the economy and literature with equal ease and who can discuss ideas not people .Anything with bulging biceps and peanut brains is a strict no –no.

19. I love birds….even the crow who comes everyday to our window for his share of breakfast…3 white pigeons used to visit us daily and I used to feed them grains from my hand….long time back…guess those birds have flown to some other territory…..I envy the freedom they enjoy.

20. I believe “You are lucky if you get what you desire but you are blessed if you get what u deserve” I would rather be blessed than be lucky.

whom do i tag?

The mallu, (coz i really would like to know about him) Archster (a little more leeway to blow her trumpet ;)

pssst..(i am resisting the temptation to re-tag someone with great difficulty:evil laugh:)

Masked out!

My inability to dish out decent stuff has long been established...so i bring yet another crappy work...........if it makes sense...great......if you find sparrows circling your head after you read this....too bad..welcome to the water bearer's muddle minded world.

Remember the day when your dear pal comes to you with watery eyes and a forlorn face and says “it’s not working out” and you play the perfect friend in need with hugs and sympathies? “It will sweety” is all you say thinking that your silly friend doesn’t know how to approach. And what follows is advice of the first order. “Maybe he means this or maybe her hint was for that” and so on. Your despondent friend feels you are the best person in the world…..You are The Wise Soul around. Are you really?!
The truth is there is a mask at work. The real you is busy licking wounds. But you have to maintain the self sufficient, smug I-know-it-all image. All façade….All the hypocrisies………… That bright fake smile covers the distress that’s flowing in your veins. The soothing words betray the ruffled feelings that play havoc in your heart. The hugs deftly wrap the emptiness of your soul out of touch.
Sounds silly doesn’t it? But trust your water bearer……this is what happens………..everyone among us wears a mask…..The whys and the hows and whats are difficult to define. But such questions never get answered anyway. The masks rule the world and maybe we might lose ourselves to them. When we all are so lost in playing the perfect masked man or woman, we might never know that the real us has long vanished into oblivion. Dangerous isn’t it? These masks………
Do I wear one? Of course yes.
The mask never falls off.